Some of the common reasons that people come to see me for counseling are fear and anxiety. You may hear the word “fear” and think of moments of terror and alarm.You may hear the word “anxiety” and think of moments of worry or fretting.

If you struggle with the presence of anger in your life, you know the hurt and pain it can bring to you and to others. When you look at that hurt and pain, the most sensible response seems to be to exert some control over your anger. When you start to feel the anger rising, your mind tells you that this anger is dangerous.

This problem has been in my life for as long as I can remember. It has always been this way. I’ve tried and tried, but I can’t get rid of it; it always shows up again. These are some of the thoughts that may come to you in response to a problem that has been around for a long time.

The word “anxiety” comes from a Latin word that means “to choke or to strangle.” If you struggle with anxiety, you can identify with that image. There may be times when the anxiety is so powerful that it is difficult to breath; you literally feel like you are choking or being strangled.

It is interesting to compare the original meaning of a word with how it is used today. Sometimes, looking at the original meaning can open up your understanding of a word. The word for today is “cope.” Cope comes from an Old French word that means “to quarrel, to hit or punch, to deliver blows, to engage in combat.”

In control or out of control…given a choice between those two, you would choose the first one. Being in control is something to strive for; being out of control is something to avoid.

There are many versions to this story, probably because it contains some truth. In different places across the world, natives have created a way to trap monkeys. Now, monkeys are smart creatures, so you would think this trap would have to rather complex; in fact, it is quite simple.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and suddenly realize that you have heard little of what they were saying? Have you been talking among a group of friends and suddenly realized that your mind has wandered? Perhaps you have had someone complain that you aren’t listening. It is not unusual to respond to that complaint with something like, “I’m sorry; my mind was somewhere else.” So where, exactly, is that somewhere else, and how do you get back to here?

You may not realize it, but there is a lot going on when you breathe. For example, when you breathe in, you activate what is called your stress response; it is also call your fight or flight response. When this response is activated, your heart rate increases, and your pupils dilate. You become more alert and the tension in your body increases.

When you are dealing with something like anxiety or stress, the only way you can imagine the presence of laughter and humor in your life is to see it as a temporary distraction from the anxious and stressful thoughts and feelings that seem to dictate the way you see and act in the world. But there are many ways that humor can be a therapeutic tool in your struggle with anxiety.