Flight or Flight
We go around appraising situations all the time: at home, at work, in the car, in our relationships, in social settings. We aren’t aware of this appraising because most of these situations are within our normal range of experience. But if we decide that a situation has some degree of danger to our security, or it’s something we can’t handle, our body goes into what has been called a “fight or flight” mode. This is our bodies’ way of keeping us aware and alert so we can decide what to do in this threatening situation.
Usually, our bodies leave the “fight or flight” mode when the situation is resolved. But what happens when we look around and decide that most of what we are experiencing is a threat? Or perhaps there is a particular area of life (work, relationship) that, most of the time, feels like more than we can handle, or we believe we aren’t handling well at all. When that happens, our bodies get stuck in the “fight or flight” syndrome, and because we aren’t designed to live in that state constantly, the result is stress.
What Can I Do About My Stress?
There are lots of different kinds of stressors that can lead to stress (notice the distinction, a stressor doesn’t have to lead to stress). For the vast majority of stressors, the general rule is that how you see and respond to the situation will determine how much stress you experience.
So the goal is to see and to feel the stress when it happens. What does it feel like? How can I tell it is present? And then, how can I change my relationship with the stress? How can I become more fully aware of it and its presence and impact so I can choose how to respond differently ?
Notice the way I am talking about dealing with stress: seeing it, knowing when it is present, changing my relationship to it. The first step in breaking free from stress is to be aware of what is actually happening while it is happening. Most often, our response to stress is to see it, feel it, and then strive to overcome it, push it aside, or eliminate it. That is not the same as being aware of what is actually happening while it is happening.
Changing the ways you see and respond to a stressor gives you a new relationship with it, a relationship that is more empowering. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) is an evidence-based program that is effective in dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, and pain. MBSR uses a combination of mindfulness practices, body awareness, and exploration of your thinking, feeling, and behavior. Mindfulness is the awareness that arises by paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and in an accepting, non-judgmental way. With MSBR you will learn some mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine that give you a new awareness of and relationship with your stress.
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