In an earlier blog I talked about the observing self. This is that part of you that gives you a perspective on all that is happening inside of you and around you. Thoughts and feelings can come and go; they can be all over the place. But this observing self allows you to feel the difference between this thought or feeling, these actions, and YOU. From the place of the observing self, you have enough flexibility to choose how you want to be in any situation, in the presence of any thought or feeling, no matter how distressing it might be.
Russ Harris has a wonderful image to help you get a feel for this observing self (ACT Made Simple, 175).
Your observing self is like the sky.
Your thoughts and feelings are like the weather. The weather changes all the time, but no matter how bad it gets, the weather cannot harm the sky. Not even the worst thunderstorm, wildest cyclone, or coldest snowstorm can hurt the sky. And no matter how bad the weather may get, the sky has sufficient space for it all. And if we are willing to stick around, sooner or later we will witness the weather getting better. Sometimes we forget that the sky is there because we can’t see it through all those dark clouds. But if we go high enough, even the darkest, heaviest rain clouds cannot prevent us from eventually reaching the clear sky. That open sky extends in all directions, without borders, and without beginning or end. Through meditation in particular, you can gradually learn to contact this part of you—an open safe space right inside of you, from which you can observe and make space for even the most difficult thoughts and feelings.
It Is Always There Inside Us
It can be hard to imagine looking at life from the place of our observing self. This part of us is always there inside of us, but we don’t have a lot of practice looking at our lives from this perspective. The thoughts and feelings of anxiety, like the rain and the snow, are so much with us, it is hard to see anything beyond them. But the observing self, like the sky, is there. It is always there. And it is always a place we can go to get a different perspective on the anxiety.
And when we look at what is happening from the place of the observing self, we can just watch what is going on without taking sides. You can allow the strong and powerful feelings of anxiety to just come and go. In the middle of moments of panic and worry, it may seem like they have control; all you can do is fight them or avoid them. But the observing self helps us see that they are not us; they are part of us.
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