John Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally” (Full Catastrophe Living, 1994). Each part of that definition is important if you are someone who is struggling with trauma, and the other feelings that go with it, like anxiety and depression.
Mindfulness invites you to pay attention on purpose.
Most of the time the way you pay attention does not have purpose. It is easy to go through the day on autopilot. The music on your stereo or the television in your living room is background noise. When you get in your car, the focus is on your destination, and everything else fades into the background. When you sit down for a meal, the goal is to finish so you can get back to the next item on your to-do list.
But what would it be like to give your attention to the song that is playing, hearing the subtlety of the melodies and harmonies and the lyrics? What would it be like to give your attention to the show on the television, sensing the plot and the dialogue of the characters? What would it be like to see the colors of the trees as you drive to work? What would it be like to enjoy the food sitting in front of you, the smells, the tastes, and the textures of what you are eating? When you are able to do these things, you can feel a space open up within you, and you can feel connected to all that is happening.
This may be hard to do when you are worried about the thoughts and feelings and memories that might come up because of the trauma you have experienced. That brings us to the second part of the definition; you pay attention in the present moment. It is easy for your mind to spend time thinking about what happened years ago in the past, especially if that past contains trauma. As you stay in these memories, it is easy to create a narrative to explain what happened. You may find yourself blaming others and getting angry. The story may place blame on yourself, and you begin to judge yourself for being weak or being a victim.
What do you do when the pain shows up?
Now don’t get me wrong; it makes perfect sense to experience pain when you have gone through trauma. What matters is what you do when the pain shows up. Mindfulness invites you to allow the strong feelings to be there, without getting caught up in the negative stories that you mind creates about the pain. When you are able to pay attention in the present, there is some space that opens up around the pain, a space that allows you to respond differently.
It is also easy for your mind to spend time thinking about what might happen in the future. Getting caught up in the future may be a way to control what is happening inside of you. You have to be ready for what could happen: an intrusive thought or memory. Just like with the past, it is easy to develop a story about the future. You may begin to think that you will feel the impact of the trauma forever and that you will always be this way.
Now don’t get me wrong; it seems to make sense to try and control your thoughts, feelings, and memories so they will not show up again. What matters is what you do when these thoughts and feelings show up. Instead of control, mindfulness invites you to see the thoughts and feelings as something that is happening right now. When you are able to do this, again, a space opens up that allows you to look at your thoughts instead of through your thoughts.
An important benefit of mindfulness is that it can help you create some clarity.
When you are able to hold the experience of the trauma lightly, without getting caught up in it, you do not have to fight it or avoid it. This allows you to see the thought or memory for what it is: something that is happening right now. This stance gives you the emotional flexibility to make room for all kinds of thoughts and feelings, positive and negative.
This clarity also gives you the chance to respond differently to what you are thinking and feeling. Even in the presence of the distressing thoughts and feelings, you have enough space to choose a response that is more in line with how you want your life to be.
Practicing mindfulness is simple, but it is not easy. There are a variety of mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your daily living. I have mentioned some above, where you take something that you do every day—listening to music, watching television, driving, eating—and do it mindfully. A simple mindfulness practice is being aware of your breathing and notice the thoughts and feelings that might come up. When they do, you acknowledge them, and then return your attention to your breathing.
Mindfulness is a significant part of my approach to helping those who are dealing with trauma. If you would like to know more, I invite you visit my trauma treatment page for more information.