You have probably heard of autopilot.
It is a system used to control the trajectory of an aircraft, marine craft or spacecraft without constant manual control by a human operator. Using autopilot allows the person controlling the car, plane, or boat to focus on other concerns, like trajectory, weather, or other systems of the vehicle. It keeps things running in a smooth and orderly matter, so everyone is safe.
But what works for a vehicle does not work in many other areas of life. It is easy to live many areas of our lives on autopilot. We go through the motions of daily life, doing the same things that we have always done, with limited awareness and intentionality. Now, don’t get me wrong. Living parts of our lives on autopilot is not a bad thing. After all, who wants to wake every morning and say, “How, exactly, do I brush my teeth?” or “How do I start the car and go to work?” These are activities that we have to perform every day just to exist and get by as humans.
So being on autopilot is not a problem; it is being on autopilot most of the time that can contribute to problems like depression. Our routines become ruts. When the thoughts and feelings that contribute to depression show up, we usually respond by trying to avoid or fight off those thoughts and feelings. These attempts to control the depression can become so habitual that they become a part of our autopilot living. Along with all the other things we routinely do during the day, there are the decisions we make to fight or avoid the depression…and we don’t even realize that we are doing it.
Autopilot Behaviors
Some of these behaviors that contribute to this autopilot living and the presence of depression include: often feeling bored, not paying attention to a task you are doing or a conversation you are having, spending a lot of time watching TV or surfing the Internet, finding it difficult to relax when you have free time. Again, none of these activities are bad; it can be relaxing and enjoyable to watch TV or surf the Internet. Some of these behaviors happen to all of us; we get distracted when someone is talking to us. But when they are present most of the time, they can easily contribute to our depression.
Control Doesn’t Work
In my work with people who struggle with depression, it is important to realize that trying to control our thoughts and feelings by avoiding or fighting them doesn’t work. Instead the goal is to mindful of them; to be willing to have the thoughts and feelings in an accepting, non-judgmental way. If we do this consistently, we have enough emotional flexibility to consider and choose actions that give expression to what we value and what gives us meaning.
But it is hard to do that when you are living on autopilot. Fortunately, we can overcome this tendency by giving attention in a different way to some of the very activities that become part of automatic living. You go through the normal parts of a day; you just do them mindfully. Take something as simple as brushing your teeth. Instead of just doing it automatically, do it mindfully. Taste and smell the toothpaste. Feel the toothbrush moving across your teeth. Enjoy what your mouth feels like when you are through.
Eating is another example. At breakfast, lunch, or dinner, don’t just consume your food so you can go on to the next task. Enjoy all the subtle aromas coming from your food. Look at the texture of it. When you put it in your mouth, don’t simply chew and swallow; savor and enjoy the variety of flavors that are there.
Doing any of these tasks mindfully and with intention can help you stop living, at least for a few moments, on autopilot. These simple mindfulness practices can put you in touch with your experience and help you as you seek to be willing and mindful of the thoughts and feelings that contribute to depression.
To learn more about depression treatment, click here.