Ways We Avoid Anxiety
When dealing with all the thoughts and feelings that go with anxiety, it is not unusual to try and avoid them. In fact, from the perspective of the thinking part of your mind, this makes sense. After all, who wants to have these disturbing thoughts and feelings? So we come up with all kinds of strategies to avoid them.
In his book, ACT Made Simple, Dr. Russ Harris gives you a way to identify the different ways you try to avoid your anxiety. He also encourages you to consider if these ways really work. It is all about connecting the D.O.T.S. The first thing Harris does is invite you to list all of the thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories, and emotions related to the anxiety (you can do it with other problems like depression) that you do not want. With anxiety, it may be the worry about when the next panic attack will come. Or it might be the nervous feeling in some part of your body.
Distraction, Opting Out, Thinking, Substances
Once you have listed them, you connect the D.O.T.S. These letters stand for Distraction, Opting Out, Thinking, and Substances. Let’s start with Distraction. These are actions you do to take your mind off the symptoms of your anxiety. It could be watching movies or TV, reading, playing computer games, exercise, or gardening. None of these activities are bad; in fact, many of them are enjoyable. But if the main reason you are doing them is to distract yourself from thoughts or feelings, it is easy to lose the pleasure they give you.
Opting Out means you stop doing some of the activities or going to some of the places that can stir up your anxiety. You may put off a task for work, or you may not go somewhere in public because the last time you were there you felt the anxiety starting to grow. Many of these activities are meaningful and important; they may give you joy. So you begin to restrict yourself, losing the many ways that you express what you value.
Thinking is one strategy that is very common. You try to think your way out of the anxiety. There are many of these thinking strategies. You start to worry about the past or fantasizing about the future. You talk logically to yourself or try to have positive thoughts. You try to figure out the exact reasons that the anxiety is showing up. If these don’t work, it is easy to start blaming others: You find yourself saying things like “It’s not fair” or “Why does this person do these things.” Finally, you can judge yourself. You wonder what exactly is wrong with you and fear that you will never get over these thoughts and feelings.
Substances is another attempt to avoid the anxiety. You do things like drink, smoke, overeat or stop eating. You may try different kinds of recreational drugs or prescription medication.
Does It Really Work?
Again, as you go through this exercise of connecting the D.O.T.S., you may find yourself judging these strategies as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative. But they real key is are these approaches workable, that is, do they improve your life long-term. What is tricky about some of these attempts is they seem to work short-term. You distract yourself or choose not to go somewhere, and you manage not to experience the anxiety.
But you don’t want the daily routine of your life to be about simply managing your anxiety. Instead, you want to order your life in a way that gives expression to what is meaningful and vital. One of the things that can go a long way in helping you do this is to Connect the D.O.T.S.
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