Anxiety and worry can be triggered by the fear and uncertainty of the unknown.
For example, imagine that you struggle with anxiety in social situations. You have a social engagement coming up: a gathering with business associates, a going away party for someone you know. It is something that you want to do, so you say yes. The anxiety begins to make its presence known.
And one of the ways it will do this is create a variety of scenarios of what may happen. You are going to a place you’ve never been, and you may get lost and come in late. You may say something that will make you appear awkward or uninformed. People will see how nervous you are and ask you if you are okay. So many things that COULD happen, and the only thing they have in common is none of them have occurred yet. But the power of these suggestions from your anxiety can actually result in you choosing not to attend an event that to which you were looking forward.
Anxiety and worry can also be triggered by the known as well. Some studies suggests that this kind of anxiety happens a lot in the fall. There are lots of things that you know will happen as autumn approaches. You know that your children will go back to school. You know that there will lots of activities associated with school. You know that you are moving into the last quarter of the fiscal year at work. Depending on where you live, you know that there will preparations to make for the coming winter. You know that there will be family gatherings around holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. Something is in the air; you can feel it with the changing of the temperature.
All of these are things you KNOW will happen. So if you know they are coming, why be anxious about them? One person has called this ANTICIPATORY ANXIETY.
Just like with social anxiety, your thinking mind creates all kinds of scenarios about these events that you know are coming. As your kids go back to school, your mind creates all kinds of questions about how they will handle new classes, new lessons, and new assignments. As you look at the calendar filling up with school activities, your mind tells you that there isn’t enough time and makes your wonder how you can get all these things done and maintain your sanity.
As you move into the last quarter of the fiscal year at work, your mind gets you to worry about how the bottom line will compare to last year, and what will your supervisor think of you. As you think about getting ready for winter, your mind wonders if you will be able to afford the repairs that may need to be made. As you think about family gatherings, your mind recalls time in the past when these gathering haven’t gone well, and you’ve come home angry or sad.
How is this anticipatory anxiety different from other kinds of anxiety?
It may not be as debilitating as social anxiety or a specific phobia. With those, the thoughts and feelings of the anxiety can become so powerful that you avoid situations that create it. But the truth is your children will be going back to school, and there will be activities that fill up the calendar. The seasons are going to change, and winter and the end of the fiscal year are going to come. These things are going to happen.
One way to deal with anticipatory anxiety is to be mindful and aware of the difference between these activities that are going to happen in the months ahead AND all the thoughts and feelings that your anxiety is creating about these activities. Because these activities happen every year, you may not even be aware that the anxiety is showing up. So take some moments to be mindful, even accepting, of these anxious thoughts and feelings.
Remember the example of social anxiety I described at the beginning of this post? Notice what happened: you ended up not attending an event to which you were looking forward. When you decided not to go, your anxiety went down, but there was some sadness that you were missing a fun or important event.
This suggest that another way to deal with anticipatory anxiety is to consider how all of these activities are an expression of values and meaning in different areas of life. School activities are an expression of how you want to be a supportive and caring parent. Thinking about the challenges of winter weather can be an expression of what you value as a homeowner. Looking at the end of the fiscal year can an expression of who you want to be as a valuable employee.
If you want to know more about how counseling can help you with anticipatory anxiety and other anxiety disorders, visit my anxiety treatment page.