It is the history of our kindnesses that alone makes this world tolerable. If it were not for that, for the effect of kind words, kind looks, kind letters…I should be inclined to think our life a practical jest in the worst possible spirit.
--Robert Louis Stevenson
It is easy to get caught up in a mindset that sees the world as a hard place. This is especially true if you struggle with depression. It is common for people with depression to ruminate over all that is going wrong with their lives. This mindset leads you to have negative perceptions about yourself, your relationships, and the world around you.
When you feel the power of these negative thoughts, you may try to control them by avoiding them or feeding your minds happier thoughts. But while you can avoid situations in the external world, you cannot get away from the thoughts and feelings inside of you. And when you attempt to change your thoughts to happier ones, you are just as aware of the negative thoughts you are trying to replace.
There are ways that develop a more positive outlook even in the face of your depression. You can do this by intentionally treating yourself with kindness. In his book The Mindfulness Toolbox, Donald Altman describes a practice he calls the G.L.A.D. technique. It is designed to develop an attitude of self-kindness and self-gratitude by inviting you to be more aware of and embrace a sense of worth and appreciation.
The G.L.A.D Technique invites you to take some moments, perhaps at the end of the day, to think about and write down happenings or encounters that make you G.L.A.D.
G—Gratitude
Find one thing for which you are grateful. This could be as simple as an awareness that you have daily nourishment, a body that works, or a place to live. It could include a person or a community who really cares what happens to you or a job that supports you and allows you to make a difference in the world. One person has said that it is not happiness that makes your grateful; instead, it is gratefulness that makes you happy. If you do this practice regularly, you begin to look for situations in your life that you can appreciate, no matter how small they might seem.
L-Learning
Find one thing that you learned today. It could be something you learned about yourself, an insight or bit of wisdom. It might something you discovered about a person in your life, a new person you met or someone who has been in your life for a long time. If you practice this regularly, you begin to develop a curious stance towards the world.
A-Accomplishment
Find one thing you accomplished today. It doesn’t have to be something life changing. Accomplishments can be simple acts that you do every day, but when you give your attention to them, you can see how that add something to your life. Perhaps you were able to get a good night’s sleep or to make a meal that you enjoyed. Perhaps it was a task at work or helping a friend or a stranger in some way. If you practice this regularly, you realize that you are doing more than going through the motions of life; you are doing simple things that give you meaning.
D—Delight
Find one thing that gave you delight today. This could be anything that made you smile or laugh. Perhaps it was something funny on TV or watching children enjoying themselves on the playground. It might have been a moment of beauty. If you practice this regularly, you will sense that, even as you struggle with depression, there are things in the world around you that can spark joy.
Hopefully, you can see that this practice is far more than avoiding depressive thoughts or trying to think happy thoughts. It is about becoming aware of the many things that are happening in the world. As you write down these G.L.A.D. moments, you can also take some moments to notice what it is like to become aware of them. What difference does it make in how you see yourself? What difference does it make in how you enter into the world of daily living?
You can go here to learn more about how this practice is a meaningful part of depression treatment.