One of the main differences between depression and normal sadness is the way depression impacts various domains of your life. Difficulty concentrating can impact your ability to perform tasks at work or at home. Changes in appetite and sleep patterns can lead to fatigue. You lose interest in activities that you once enjoyed or found meaningful.
All these symptoms of depression can have a significant impact on your relationships. Your depression makes it difficult to maintain your connection with others.
Here are some of the different relationships that can be impacted by your depression.
Family
Strong family relationships can help you deal with your depression, but it can also place significant strain on your family members. The members of your family see the changes in your mood or behavior. They don’t understand where these changes are coming from, so they are confused or frustrated.
For example, if you are a parent, your children may feel neglected or assume they have done something wrong and blame themselves. Other family members may take on tasks and responsibilities that you have neglected, causing them stress and resentment.
Older family members may have a different perspective on a mental health issue like depression. They may see depression as a weakness of character. They may see it as something that they just have to deal with or push through. When the depression doesn’t get better, it puts a strain on the family. Different family members may get irritated with one another.
Friendships
Friends are one of the greatest gifts in life. Friends are people who want to be with you voluntarily. They like you for who you are, not with the expectations and commitments of family.
When you are feeling good, reaching out and connecting with friends is natural and spontaneous. This mutual effort and engagement may be challenging if you are experiencing depression. Social isolation is a common symptom of depression. You decline invitations to social activities or stop inviting friends to get together. You may stop answering messages. Even when you are with your friends, there may be a lack of enthusiasm.
All these behaviors can lead to friends feeling like you just want to be alone. They may also feel hurt. Both behaviors can lead to your friends distancing themselves. This sets up a vicious cycle for you. Spending time with friends can help with the social isolation and loneliness that are part of depression. And yet, because they don’t want to be a burden or feel hurt that may stop reaching out.
Coworkers
Your depression can lead to an inability to concentrate or a lack of motivation. This may impact your effectiveness at work. If you are part of a work team, your contributions are necessary for your coworkers to do their job. If that doesn’t happen because of your struggle with motivation or concentration, they may become frustrated and complain to their supervisor.
Romantic and Committed Relationships
These relationships are particularly vulnerable to the effects of your depression. Committed relationships are based on a physical and emotional intimacy that comes from mutual self-disclosure. Your depression may reduce your interest in physical affection, leading to your partner feeling rejected. Mood swings and irritability can also create tension and conflict.
Your partner is involved in or at least connected to many areas of your life. Social outings, vacations, shared hobbies, simple moments together at home…all of these build the bonds between you. If you let go of any of these interactions, your partner will feel a sense of disconnection and dissatisfaction.
Please understand. All that I am describing here is not an attempt to make you feel worse. Instead, it is an opportunity to see how your depression is impacting you. If you struggle with depression, most likely, you are dissatisfied with how your life is going. This dissatisfaction comes from the picture of how you want your life to be. A big part of that picture is your connection with others. All these different relationships can be a resource to help you be aware of and move through your depression.
Counseling can also help you explore ways to develop a different relationship with your depression. I invite you to visit my depression treatment specialty page to learn more about how therapy can help you.