The experience of trauma can impact you in many ways. For example, trauma can disrupt your ability to regulate emotions, leading to intense and overwhelming feelings. Survivors of trauma can also be very hard on themselves. You may struggle with self-critical thoughts and feelings of deep shame, because you believe you are to blame, in some way, for your suffering.
The practice of self-compassion can help with the impact of trauma. If you struggle with emotional regulation, self-compassion can help you acknowledge and accept your emotions without judgment. This acceptance creates a more balanced emotional state and reduces the intensity of negative emotions. If you struggle with self-criticism and shame, self-compassion helps you create a more nurturing inner dialogue. As you recognize that everyone experiences difficulties and the trauma is not your fault, you can let go of these difficult feelings.
Self-compassion is no different than the compassion you extend to others.
You notice that a friend is struggling or feeling bad about themselves. You realize that you have experienced the same kind of struggles and doubts; in fact, everyone has. So, you respond with a warm kindness and understanding.
You can go through this same process with yourself. You notice that you are struggling. You don’t try to push those feelings away, but you also don’t get caught up in them. You notice them and accept them. You see that are not alone in what you are experiencing; everyone has gone through some kind of struggle. So, you find ways to respond to yourself with kindness, warmth, and understanding.
To feel the power of self-compassion, you have to practice it. Here are some simple self-compassion practices.
Mindfulness Practices
Mindfulness is being aware and accepting whatever is happening in the present moment, without judgment. This awareness includes those harsh, self-judging thoughts. Engaging in a mindful self-compassion meditation involves focusing on your breath and gently acknowledging any distressing thoughts or feelings that arise. Instead of judging or suppressing these emotions, you can observe them with kindness and understanding.
Compassionate Letter Writing
Writing a letter to yourself from the perspective of a compassionate friend can be a powerful exercise. In this letter, individuals acknowledge their struggles, offer words of comfort and encouragement, and remind themselves of their inherent worth.
Self-Compassion Breaks
During moments of distress, take a self-compassion break. This practice involves pausing, placing a hand over your heart, and repeating phrases such as "This is a moment of suffering," "Suffering is a part of life," and "May I be kind to myself."
Engaging in Self-Care Activities
Engaging in activities that nurture the body and mind is an essential aspect of self-compassion. This can include practices such as yoga, journaling, spending time in nature, or engaging in creative pursuits. These activities reinforce the idea that you deserve care and compassion.
Integrating Self-Compassion into Daily Life
Integrating self-compassion into daily life calls for consistent practice and mindfulness. Here are some tips for making self-compassion a part of everyday routines:
· Start the day with a compassionate intention: Begin each day with a positive and compassionate intention, such as "Today, I will treat myself with kindness."
· Practice self-compassion in small moments: Incorporate self-compassion into small moments throughout the day, such as taking a deep breath and offering oneself a kind word during stressful situations.
· Reflect on compassionate experiences: At the end of each day, reflect on moments when you practiced self-compassion and acknowledge the positive impact it had.
The journey towards healing from trauma is intricate and deeply personal. My trauma treatment specialty page gives you more information about how therapy can help with trauma. While therapy and support from loved ones are crucial, self-compassion offers an empowering way for trauma survivors to reconnect with themselves, nurture their well-being, and cultivate resilience. By embracing self-compassion practices, you can transform your relationship with their past and pave the way for a more compassionate and fulfilling future.