Sleep is one of the most amazing things you do on a regular basis.
There is the sheer amount of time that you give to sleep. About one-third of your time being alive involves lying down in a comfortable position and letting your body and mind rest. Of course, one of the reasons this fact may be amazing is because of the emphasis you give the other two-thirds of your time. It is during those awake times that you get things done, that you accomplish the real stuff of life. Sleep becomes like food; it’s just there to give you the fuel you need to do the important tasks.
Because of this, you can become very attached to your sleep time. How often have you heard someone say, “I need my eight hours, or I’ll never make it through the day.” And then there are those who are proud of how little sleep they need: “Give me 4-5 hours and I’ll be fine.” Sleep becomes something you plan or do; something you make happen. So when your sleep is disrupted, it can feel threatening.
Sleep problems are common symptoms of stress.
We’ve all had the experience of not being able to go to sleep because our minds won’t stop. Then, there are the times when you go to sleep, but wake in the middle of night, and before you know it, your mind is off and running. Next, you tell yourself how important it is to get enough sleep, and you try even harder to go back to sleep.
Have you ever noticed the language that you use to talk about sleep? You talk about getting sleep, as if it is something you can do or accomplish. You talk about going to sleep, as if it a state into which you make yourself go. Here is one of the most important things to learn about sleep stress: YOU CAN’T MAKE YOURSELF GO TO SLEEP. It is probably more accurate to say that sleep is something that you enter into; sleep is something that you give yourself to and allow to come over you.
Sleep is part of your circadian rhythm. This rhythm is a sleep-wake cycle that runs constantly; it alternates between alertness and sleepiness. This pattern is what is often referred to as a “biological clock.” So if you are having trouble sleeping, your body may be telling you that you that there is something about the way you are living your life that has you out of rhythm. Stress in some area of life can disrupt this pattern. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to regain your rhythm. For example, diet and exercise can have a significant impact on your sleep patterns.
So, if sleep is not something you can make yourself do, how should you respond when you are lying there and cannot go to sleep? It could be helpful to get up and do something else for a while. Maybe the reason you are sleeping at that moment is because you don’t need to be sleeping, even if you really want to. You don’t want to start doing some major task or project; I would suggest doing something you like to do or something that you can feel good about getting done.
A mindfulness practice can be helpful as well.
Give up trying to make yourself go to sleep. Give up trying to stop or push aside your thoughts. Instead, just put yourself in a comfortable position, lying in the bed or sitting in a chair, and just watch your thoughts. Don’t try to generate thoughts. Don’t try to avoid your thoughts or fight them. Just notice the thoughts that your mind gives you. Watch the thought come. Watch it be there. Watch it as it leaves. Notice the space between a thought that is leaving and the next thought.
Another mindfulness practice is the body scan. You can do the body scan any time during the day, but it is especially helpful with sleep stress. After all, it begins with the posture of sleep, lying on your back in a comfortable position. Allow your eyes to close. Start to notice your breathing. Start to notice the feeling of your body as whole: the space it is occupying, the point of contacts with where you are lying.
Next, bring your attention to the toes on your left foot. Just feel any sensations in your toes. If there aren’t any sensations, just notice them. Then, you move your attention to the toes on your right foot and do the same thing. The body scan continues as you move up your body all the way to your head. It is best to alternate between your left and right legs and arms as you go up your body.
Maybe it feels a bit ironic that a remedy for sleep stress is to be mindful and aware. And yet, this awareness moves your away from trying to go to sleep; instead you are in a place where you can welcome sleep as it comes to you.
My stress reduction specialty page will give you more information about Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), an evidence-based program that will help you with the stress you experience in different areas of your life.